Last night we saw the return of The Apprentice on BBC!
You'll be glad to hear that it has spewed out the usual bunch of jumped up "business acumen" once again, it always does, why would this year be any different!? That not a bad thing at all...I love it.
Call me satanic (no please feel free) but there is nothing I like more than a jumped up pleb falling down on television in front of the whole nation!
For those of you who are not familiar with the show, firstly where have you been?! let me explain. Sir Alan Sugar is supposedly a fantastic business man who has built up a "multi-million pound business empire" from scratch yada yada (he founded Amstrad and...erm, is that it?).
"Business people" apply to the programme to become his apprentice and earn a 6-figure salary (good times!), I don't think anyone really knows what that entails but 6-figure salary and a chance to work with Amstrad computers and satellite dishes? You're tempted yes?
The teams are split into two, boys and girls, with me so far? Each week Sir Alan gives them a task to do, they appoint a team leader and go about their business...the team who wins (normally by making the most profit) gets to fight another day, the team who looses gets the risk of the chop, the team leader gets marched back into the board room with two people they think let the team down that week, there's usually...no always...a lot of arguing, followed by cringe worthy sucking up and then Sir Alan says the famous words "You're fired" and off one of them pops off to the local pub no doubt to drown their sorrows.
In the first show I swear they all inject steroids, they introduce themselves quite calmly but then something just clicks and they go off on one about how fantastic they are...each ones gets wheeled in and each one says the same crap trying to outdo the others..."I'm a go-getter, I see a goal and I just go for it - I'm a grafter..I have drive, nothing will stand in my way when I see something I want, I AM the next Apprentice!"
Last night we saw Anita Shah get the chop, I personally don't think it was deserved. OK she was useless at washing cars, she was a drip who didn't really voice her opinion, ultimately as "chief calculator user" she should have highlighted the teams costs were spiralling out of control and that being a trained lawyer admitting a nicey-nice approach where she doesn't normally raise her voice and does as she's told isn't the best thing to do...OK, OK, perhaps she did deserve to go.
..doesn't she look sad?
I can't wait until next week I've already decided who's my favourite and who are the two snakes to watch out for.
First idiot is Philip Taylor..who describes himself in the following way "Business is the new rock 'n' roll and I'm Elvis Presley" - Elvis got fat and is dead is he not? What a jumped up prat! OK, probably the best looking in the boys team but this does not mask just how irritating he is, to make things worse (and I don't know why this does) he's also an estate agent. Everything I hate rolled up into one "lad".
He's just got one of those faces you want to smack doesn't he?
The girls do not go un-scathed...Debra Barr! Where to begin?Actually easy...sort your name out, Debra? Sophisticated spelling, different or just annoying? Deborah was brought into the boardroom last night for not managing her sub-team very well and calling two of her crew "Puppets" then lying about it in the boardroom...spell it with me...B, I, T,C,H.
Don't be misled by her smile, she's the devil.
I'll announce my favourite wannabe next week, I need to see more of her before I put myself out there and place my bet! I will leave you with the below...get the idea?
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