Q

Isn't queuing strange? I don't mean the actual action of queuing, I'm talking the instant switch between no queue to looooooong queue.

Surely you've all noticed? You'll be in a shop, picking your food for the week, it's time to pay (before you pick up any more crap you don't need) this is your chance, empty till point, you suss out your surroundings and glide in to the queue just before Gladys gets there with her tinned spam and cat food. You turn round and all of a sudden the queue is down the aisle - instantly everyone has decided now is the time they want to pay.

Just the other day I was in Marks and Spencer (Chelmsford, if you're interested) there was no queue so the shop assistants were re-stocking the shelves and arranging the mixed nuts (very important jobs), I toddled along with my roll and yoghurt, then all of sudden there was a swoop - FBI stylee, customers lined up behind me tapping their feet.

I've seen it on the other side of the fence as well, when I worked in Topman (Oxford Circus, if you're interested). Smile, scan, "do you have a Topman account card", pack, "have a good day". A manageable 2 or 3 customers, then BOOM! Snow ball effect, all the gays, (I mean customers) are lining up waiting to be served.

Why does it happen? People know how to shop, they know how to pay, it's not like they are waiting to see how someone does it in front of them - God, which way do you insert your card into the "chip'n'pin" machine? Do I give them the money or do they reach into my wallet and take it themselves? It's not rocket science.

Perhaps it's a comfort thing, why queue alone when you can be with others and work the queue? - "oh I see you went for the tuna baguette? interesting, I'm more of a pesto pasta kinda guy, do you come here often?". Maybe it's that human craving for company?

I feel sorry for the Sales Assistants in all of this queue craziness. One minute they're asking Mrs.Smith how her kids are, the next minute scan, scan, scan, scan, scan they go into panicked production line mode...NEXT! So people, next time you're in your local supermarket, bear a thought for the retail front line behind the check-outs. Think one in, one out.

Don't cha?!

I was in Newmarket last night, Newmarket is in Suffolk...I learnt that yesterday.

The reason I was in Newmarket (which is in Suffolk) was to see the Pussycat Dolls.

I must admit I wasn't my usual over excited self for the concert, it might have something to do with the fact that I was in work in the morning and I was tired. This wasn't helped by the fact that when we got to the venue, Newmarket race course, the rest of the crowd clearly had about 5 hours drinking time on us...they were all wrecked.

We pulled up a seat next to a hen party and a group of pissed suits and tucked into our picnic - the setting was amazing, blow up doll to my right, chanting "men" to my left and the rain lashing it down outside...good times! ;o)

We watched a couple of the races, horses in case you're wondering, not dogs, and then headed over to the stage area....No roof! I'm wadding around in the mud in a zip up track top, fetching poncho and white, yes, white converse, you take the boy out of the city....

The Dolls came on...amazing! Nicole Shizy-wotzit was in the middle (obviously) wearing an amazing sparkly hooded sweat top, she told us they were bringing the LA sun with them and we should see the rain as "little kisses of love from Heaven". Several arguments kicked off regarding umbrellas and whether they should be allowed up, I'm proud to say my Mum and Aunt started two of said arguments...of course, the vile girls in front quickly put theirs down.

An actual physical fight kicked off between a 30 year old lad and a 60 year old man who was removed from the crowd with a smashed up face, I'm sure he deserved it, I'm pretty sure I saw him swaying un-controllably earlier on in the evening and I don't mean in a cool "I can see the music way".

I paint such a negative picture...the girls were actually amazing and the show they put on was excellent, great remixes and their dancing explains why they are the size of Starbucks straws! OK it was rainy, muddy and I didn't feel the safest in the crowd but they kinda made you forget your surroundings - dare I say it, they were better than Girls Aloud...and cheaper! Who woulda thought?

I would definitely see them again if given the opportunity, perhaps in a stadium with a roof and sofas?

Have a look see - this video clip was in Birmingham, just imagine it with more rain, more drink and more mud! Check out 5:19 - wow!

Video WOW of the week!

I love Sophie Ellis Bexter - so talented, so beautiful , so tall.

Seamlessly rhyming "dancer" and "faster"?

London Pride 2009

A quick 2009 update...

Just realised that we're half way through the year, well actually a little further than half and I just wanted to announce how crap I have been at my 2009 things to do! As you know I went Karaoke for Kieran's Birthday months and months ago...further things I can update?..just two...

1) Have a clear out (both London and Essex house) and EBay /charity shop stuff I don’t need.
2) Sign up for French Lessons.
3) Watch the sun-rise over London from Primrose Hill.
4) Go for dinner at Yauatcha, Soho
5) Visit Scotland.
6) Go and play Bingo.
7) Visit Buckingham Palace.
8) Learn to cook dim-sum.
9) Re-visit roller disco.
10) Organise a University re-union.
11) Go on a bike ride.
12) Buy and keep alive a goldfish.
13) Sing at Karaoke
14) Go and have a drink in the North London Tavern with Jo and Lori.

How crap is that!? I did my clear out (no.1) about 3 months ago now. I went back to Chelmsford got up in the loft, got all my stuff out...wow I found some beauties - old school projects, pictures of the ex (bleugh!), fashion books, Steps Videos. Some of it I had destroyed immediately (the afore mentioned photos) other bits had a little bit more meaning to me, like my Paul Frank cuddly toys that I paid a small fortune for in uni and some converse shoes that I forgot I even had. The other bits and pieces I brought back to London to e-bay, that money has probably since been been pissed away (literally).

Moving on to my second "accomplishment"...Last night I went to Primrose Hill for an evening picnic with my mates Jo, Lori and David to watch the sun-set (OK my New Year check-list said sun-rise but I'm clutching at straws here!). We all met at Finchley Road, grabbed some nosh then walked up to Primmy Hill...what a lovely evening. We took drink with us, my housemate Jo said something so true yesterday, if you take Cider to Primrose Hill (and oh we did!) it's acceptable...swig it in your local park and you're a chavy-skank-bag? I bought myself a lovey bottle of Belgian Raspberry beer from Waitrose, it's still in the fridge now (who puts a beer cap on...and then a friggin' cork?).

Highlights of the evening were us playing music on David's phone like chavs and watching people set off 1,2,3..no 4 million of those weird mini hot air baloon things? Have you seen then? You light this dish then wait for the bag to fill with hot air then let it go into the night sky, oh it was beautiful but bloody hell how dangerous! - who could think it is a good idea to set off naked flame into the sky? If you too want to risk life and limb and all the trees around you, you can buy into this fad here.

Lori - "Quick someone is setting alight a bed-sheet!"

As the sun started to set we were joined by a little visitor a homeless dog, it was clearly flea ridden and sad looking but he was so cute! Lori called him Chiquito - have you seen a dog look so un-like a "Chiquito" in your life?

Starbucks Review No.8 : Hackershe Hoefe, Berlin, Germany

I was in Berlin Tuesday to Thursday with work at the Bread and Butter Trade Show for SS10...great time, some great brands, just bloody knackered right now!

After we landed Myself and 2 work mates ("Rocket Girl" and Kieran) had Tuesday to "do" the shops. The sun was unbelievably hot, fantastic weather! We wondered around for a good number of hours then thought we would stop for a pick-me-up, I suggested Starbuck-ers (of course).

I ordered an Iced Caffe Mocha no cream, what did I get an Iced Caffe Mocha WITH cream. I hate cream, well except Ice-cream but that doesnt count really. I paid something ridiculous like £4 for a wrong drink, I did say to the lovely, smiley, polite Barista that I didnt order cream (can you sense sarcasm on-line?) but she looked at me like I was a complete pain in the arse and I'd just asked her to donate a Kidney, no make that three kidneys...her look alone was enough for me to back-down and just admit defeat, I walked out, head hung slightly, cream atop my mocha.

The actual place was nice, it had a nice hub-bub about it, right in the busy stretch of East Berlin, the place was clean and well it gave me that instant feeling of contentment, you know like when you really need to pee and then see the loos...with no queue! It felt like home.

This said I can obviously not overlook the incorrect order and rather hostile, dare I say it Germanic customer service...Hackershe Hoefe scores 3.5 mochas out of 10. tut tut.

Video WOW of the week!

I might be more tolerant of young children if they ACtually did things like this!