Twenty Seven, the new Twenty Six.

I turned 27 yesterday.

That's right, this young thang is, well, not so young any more. I'm not moaning mind you - I have a good feeling about 27.

27, old enough to be classed as a working professional, but that 2 in front lets you claw on to your youth. You can still make mistakes, you can still go out on a night long bender, just don't expect the sympathy when you're feeling like death in the morning - you're old enough to know better.

SO what will this year hold for me? What am I going to do differently at this age? Well, this could be the year that I do the transition to "older gay'...you know the type I mean, we've all seen them.

The new "older gay" me visits, no, make that peruses, Heals department store of a weekend, looking for things I don't really need, but beautiful things that I really want, things absolutely necessary to enrich my life.

I watch the news in the morning and reads real newspapers, not the free ones you get on the tube, I follow this up with various topical discussions about said world events with other 27 year olds.

After work, I meet with my friends and we catch an independent art movie or some musical theatre.

I will ensure that my wardrobe is made up of Heritage brands...if it's not Burberry, Barbour or Ralph Lauren I don't want to know. It's what we older men wear, that and spectacles.

I will frequent a coffee bar (OK, Starbucks) on a Sunday morning before catching a photography exhibition, this will spark an interest which will develop into a hobby - nothing serious, just a bit of fun, just a few snaps that I will have framed and placed around my flat, it's what we call talking points when throwing dinner parties.

Nights out will still occur, naturally, however they will become less frequent. I wont drink during the week, oh no, Friday's it is, that gives me two days to recover. I will drink champagne cocktails or a simple vodka and tonic - I'm so deep.

As I type this I can feel myself disagreeing with myself - Oh God, I feel a rebellious streak coming through, a mutton dressed as lamb, shot drinking, dance floor hogging man trying to escape...perhaps 27 is the age that I find a balance, yes a balance, that's a good start right? Quick someone grab me a disco ball!

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Video WOW of the Week!

One of the funniest adverts on TV at the moment. Starts off well, girl in headset, looking cool, loving the tune, mates on a bus having a great night out, feel good isn't it?! Then it happens, like that advert for those chocolates they called Munchies, you find out it's for Lambrini! What's that saying?! Oh yes...you can't polish a turd!

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Doctor how?

I hate the doctors. I had to go yesterday. Been off work for the last three days with aches, fever and sore throat, nice. Decided it wasn't a cold and that I should get a third opinion, other than my own and the NHS direct line website "You are probably dying, phone 999 immediately".

So, when I'd remembered where my doctor actually was, I made an appointment and went along.

I chose to ignore the tfl instructions and managed to arrive 30 mins early, the lovely but rather coughey / clearly ill receptionist let me in despite the surgery not being open for afternoon "trade" yet. She was hacking up good and proper. That's the thing about doctors surgeries, it's warm, ideal temperature for breeding germs and people are there because they're sick...God knows what you come out with, probably an upgraded version of what you went in with, enter with a cold, exit with bird flu..ta-dah!

So, sat there I read "Bird watchers monthly", a magazine about Brownies and "Dorset Living"...twice...overhear the receptionist answer the phone..." that's right Mrs.Harris, your doctor is on annual leave on Monday...he's back on the 3rd January!?!?" Erm...what type of doctor takes off over a month during the peak flu period? A lazy one my friends. In fact if my office is reading in, I'm thinking of taking the next buying season off!?

Old people love doctors surgeries don't they!? I don't know whether its the fact it gives them somewhere to go, someone to talk to but they love it. You can always tell when someone walks into the doctors and the receptionist knows them by first name...never a good sign is it?! An old Irish woman came in yesterday to cancel an appointment, she was there for about 25 minutes talking absolute crap. She was moaning about the doctor who she had had a yelling match with in the surgery the week before and also moaning about the "eastern european" receptionist who was very rude. The ill receptionist was chipping in between coughing fits.

I'm clearly the first person for the later session, they still made me wait, 25 minutes, bastards, in walked the doctor casually, I get a waft of tobacco, you know the old stuff you put in pipes...healthy!

He had the worst toupee I have ever seen, wrong colour and clearly shifted in the wind.

First question he asked me was whether I smoked, I said no, he told me I was a good lad...the doctor on the other hand clearly did, he was wheezing and out of breathe. Medical advice from this man, really?!

He diagnosed me as having tonsillitis...which as I'm sure you can imagine I'm really over the moon about, I'm on antibiotics and plenty of fluids.

I've been in the flat for 3 whole days now and I have cabin fever real bad, my bedside table is looking like a drugs cabinet and all I want to do is go out and enjoy the weekend, not going to happen. Now excuse me, I'm off to crank up the heating, pour myself a bath and dose myself up.



- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Video WOW of the Week!

A very early good morning ladies and gentlemen. You may have noticed there hasn't been a Video WOW for quite some time now! Truth is, that for amazing as this iPad is (and it really is) I can't find a way to post Videos through YouTube? Anyway I've had a tinker around with the HTML..oh yeah, check me out, mr website programmer extraordinaire...think I might have worked it out.

This video, if it works, is a forthcoming Glee episode, already shown in the states, its due for release here in the new year, I can't frickin' wait! I always thought Gwyneth was a bit of a moody cow, but I take it all back, love this, love her, can't wait for the new series.

I want!!!

Just been in to the Burberry store on Regents Street to pick up my poorly bag. Well, it's not poorly anymore, it's been sunning it's self for the last 6 weeks in Italy, in some repair factory somewhere.

It's back and it's as good as new! Hurrah!

Whilst in the store I went for a nonchalant wander round the departments, pretending I could afford anything in there, sometimes even turning my nose up at the collection, just for fun. Then it happened. I fell in love with the most beautiful IPad case, It's so perdy!




I want!!!

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Heavenly

I am currently sat in the hotel's "Contemplation Room"...it's on the 41st floor and has one of the most amazing views I've ever seen. Sat on a sofa I can see the whole city, the sea, the port, probably even my house...there's some chinese relaxation music playing, free herbal tea and the sound of running water, God, I need to pee. With risk of sounding like a big old homo, it's almost "heavenly".

Whilst in this contemplation room, I thought I'd do just that...I'm just about half way through my trip, just 5 more days to go.

Last week was fun, very busy but fun. I was very lucky to get out and see the city yesterday. An old family friend many years ago told me to drop him an email if I was ever over this side of the world...I must admit I never thought I would be, but here I am, I dropped him an email and he organised one of his employees in his Hong Kong office, Sue, to take me on a tour. Such a lovely lovely lady! Poor her having to take 'ol muggins here round on her Saturday.

We started off in Tsim Tsa Tsui for breakfast, then got a taxi to The Peak tram over in the "Central" district.

The tram has been there for many years, back when the British owned the island. Never really understood why we did own this place. I guess in some ways its kinda cool because it's a melting pot of loads of traditions and cultures. British plugs, Chinese road signs with the British translation underneath...Hong Kong takes the bits it likes from England and China and merges them into it's own culture, inclusive of the National Holidays...very clever!

So,the tram takes you right up to The Peak, I believe its the highest point in the city. the views are fantastic! At the top there is also Madame Tussauds...so funny, again a mix, David Beckham stood next to Chinese pop stars.

After The Peak, we went to Stanley Market, which is a little bit more like an ex-pat area...very British. We had lunch here then went for a wander round the beach area on the rocks...very pretty.

In contrast to this scerene area we then headed back to the area round my hotel called Mong Kok. VERY VERY busy! We went to the even busier technology stores and Ladies Market, I've never seen so many people in my life. I bought myself some headphones and an IPad case. Kinda embrassing when I presented a $10HKD note rather than a $100HKD to pay, £1 instead of £10.

STP PRESS : WHAT!?!? Two ladies and a guy have just destroyed my tranquil setting, my inner sanctum, my personal space (they've entered the room)...how dare they! Now a loud British accent...that's it...they've woken me from my relaxed bloggin' slumber.

I should really go anyway, going to check out the shopping centre next door, my Director, Designer and Assistant arrive about 5 o'clock, so going to make the most of the free time before I have to go back into work mode.

I will try and upload a picture of this view soon...it really is amazing.

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Starbucks Review No.12 : Langham Place, Hong Kong.

Another "Starbucks review abroad", this time in Hong Kong.

Just next to my hotel, behind the Hello Kitty arena (she's celebrating her 35th Birthday don'tcha know!?) More hello Catty if you ask me! haha see what I did there? Get it? Get it? Anyway...there's a mahussive shopping centre called Langham Place. Here I sit.

I've ordered my usual, Vanilla Latte. This time I've shaken it up a bit by also ordering a rather suspect looking blueberry muffin, which actually, suprisingly tastes OK.

Call me a geek, (you all did, didnt you?) but I quite like to see how the coffee company I love differs from country to country...it doesn't dissapoint. When choosing my muffin I couldn't help but notice the offering of Chicken and mushroom pocket and Spinach and ricotta pie. There was also another claiming to be Christmas in a pie...all the elements of a christmas dinner in one snack...amazing.

The staff are very much like the rest of the people in Hong Kong, very warm and welcoming. Very smiley, very accomodating and friendly - thumbs up from me.

When ordering I'm asked if I want my vanilla latte cold or hot and the same with my blueberry muffin...Do I want it warmed? Brilliant.

The atmosphere is again, very Hong Kong like. Loys of hub-bub going on, catchy chinese music playing, lots and lots of people...lack of seats evident by the fact that I'm currently sharing a table with a Chinese woman wearing a rather suspect sweater but in general the place is pretty impressive with big floor to ceilling windows overlooking the busy streets below.

My drink is OK, thing is when you order Starbucks abroad, the milk tastes different in different countries...tastes a bit soya like here, it might even be just that, who knows.

There are lots of children wondering round, but not in an annoying chavvy, screaming English way but a cute Chinese kinda way...all playing with their ipads very quietly...yes I said playing with their own Ipads.

Now I've enjoyed the experience, but how much? Down to the serious job of scoring. Hong Kong Starbucks, it could be a case of supply and demand (not paid a visit all week) but I salute you and reward you 8 mochas out of 10.

See you again this afternoon!

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Where the hell am I and what can I eat?

This is Paul reporting from the skies. Well not from the skies as such, that's very dangerous and very illegal. Just imagine if I accidentally connected to a wifi network and started flying the plane from seat 43a, I can't drive a car let alone a plane.

This will be uploaded at the first available wifi connection, however at this very moment I am typing this whilst sat on a rather bumpy flight somewhere between Hong Kong and Hangzhou in China.

Foods come round, lovely Bob at our travel agents hasn't booked me a vegetarian meal, to be fair it wouldn't have made much difference, the Chinese don't get us "veggies". In fact I went out for lunch today with my jersey supplier but unfortunately upon checking with my designer (who tested all the food before I tucked in for fear of rogue piece of pork, beef or monkey) there was very little I could eat - no bother, the company was nice and the Chinese tea kept flowing, it has however, left me quite hungry.

Thinking about it, a lot of places that I go to don't get my "fussy eating habits". In Turkey, when I explain I don't eat meat or fish the chain of events goes something like this...1) look of disgust, 2) look of confusion, 3) a rather loud, almost scolding question..."WHY?", followed by them ordering me minced chicken as it isn't a meat? (circa 4th work trip to Turkey, followed by week off sick...nice). Even closer to home, In Paris, you can order a lovely bottle of wine with your Big Mac but ask for a Bean burger? Death stare.

So here I am eating two bread rolls heading to the big C. I've never been to China before, I'm rather excited. We're staying in a lovely hotel near the West Lake, which is supposedly very beautiful. I've been told by at least two people that we must go out on a boat...yeah right, as if we'll have time to do that, hopefully I can at least see it from my hotel room, will post a pic if I can.

I'm imagining China to be very similar to Hong Kong, just prettier? I guess that's a bit of a generalisation, China is massive after all and I'm told that different regions are very very different from each other. I guess it's the same anywhere Kent, London, Liverpool, Hull, Grimsby.

I must admit I don't actually know what part Hangzhou is actually in? In fact I hardly ever know where I am. My friends always joke that my geography knowledge (or lack of) is ridiculous. I must agree. I bought my self a blow up globe from Muji (a japanese brand, the capital of Japan being Tokyo) and have just downloaded the iPad google earth app so hoping to educate myself. I blame the education system, as interesting as volcanoes are, it would be more useful, and less embarrassing to know where places are in the world.

So as I finish my roll and round up this here blog entry I ask myself the question...Hangzhou, a Kent or a Grimsby?

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Location:The sky.

Day 2 on the Far East mammoth trip...

...Paul is waking up after an OK-ish nights sleep.

Good Morning Hong Kong! My home for the next two weeks. I've already seen you this morning twice infact, once at 2.30am (cranberry juice) and once again at 5.30 (orange juice and Timtam bar)...damn jet-lag! Now, however, I can see you properly.




Anyone who follows my Twitter or who has had the misfortune to actually see me in real life in the last few weeks would have heard my countdown to this trip, all be it in a slightly "the end is nigh" way. It's a big trip the Far East one. The new season, our first and pretty much only chance to meet with our Chinese factories and get them sampling our new collections for AW11 (in stores From May/ June next year). An exciting but also really important trip...at 2 weeks, my longest to date. It comes just as London is turning all Christmassy and cold...(my favourite time of the year) I know, I know, I'll shut up up and get over it...I'm also missing my Dad's 60th...that really is it! Subject closed.

Anyway, I'm here now and already starting to relax, helped by the gorgeous view over the bay from the Intercontinental bar last night. Every night at 8pm the buildings around the bay are all involved in a light and laser show. The buildings all start flashing different colours in sequence and the larger of the sky-scrapers have lasers that dart around the sky - it's beautiful, that and the cocktail I was sipping - lovely first evening!

Today, I have a packed day. Starting with Breakfast, then a day with one of my key jersey suppliers. My Director and I are then flying over to mainland China tonight to see an outerwear factory in the morning. I'll be flying back to Hong Kong Wednesday early morning straight into a knitwear meeting. Thats pretty much how these trips go. Darting around the city in taxis from meeting to meeting. I'm here every 6 months, so it's always nice to see our suppliers, see how they all are and what they've been working on. One of the toughest but also most rewarding trips.

The Chinese people are so friendly and hospitable (obviously this is a generalisation - I've not met every Chinese person) they are always so welcoming and even more importantly they know when to pop up with a can of Coke when Jet-lag kicks in and I start to flag at about 2pm - a very skilled nation indeed.

It's now, just gone 6.30, going to try and cram 1 more hours sleep in then time to start the day - I'll try and blog from China tonight. Happy Monday everyone!

- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.

Location:Hong Kong

Video WOW of the Week!

My mate Martin pointed this video out to me...this is one of the funniest things I've seen in quite a while. Harry Hill (well your writer) you're a genius...when you're ready!

Video WOW of the Week!

This little delight was shown on TV today just before Harry Hill's TV Burp and just after that vile, vile, vile Essex "reality" TV show...I have never been so ashamed to be from Essex in my life. From Harry Hill's album (...don't even ask!) "I Want A Baby".

WWW: selectism

Twatty travel blog - check. Now on to twatty fashion blog...well not mine really. I have fallen in Love with the Selectism Men's fashion blog...you men out there should sign up, it's like a daily shopping list, I want everything!

Visit: www.selectism.com

This is my first ever WWW. Website Worth Watching.

Paul's Guide to Living on a Jet-Plane.

It's the beginning of the new season so Buyer's all over the land are saying goodbye to their friends, families and social lives in search for the next "big" thing.

I wanted to blog about my travels... I've never wanted my blog to turn into one of those twatty fasionista or travel blogs but unfortunately the two are quite a large chunk of my life so it was inevitable they were going to come up from time to time. In the past month alone I've been to New York once and Turkey twice, there was also a visit to Wales...lovely part of the world!

Don't get me wrong, I still love the travelling and the opportunity to see some fabulous places which comes with my job; it's just not as glamorous as it sounds.

This inspired a blog. My friends, I have decided to once more share my worldly wisdom (admittedly of 26 years). No, I've not decided to write my life story (don't you hate it when Celebs do that prematurely? Coleen Rooney, you're like 12?). No, these are my tips for coping with travelling..."Paul's guide to living on a jet-plane".

Creating Home from Home

This needs to be started about two weeks before a trip. I'm hoping it helps me through my forthcoming two week stint in Hong Kong. Now we all have smells that we like, smells that we associate with people, places, good times and bad. I'm thinking that if I make my bedroom, where I relax, smell of a certain fragrance and take this same fragrance to Hong Kong to spray it in my room, it should help relax me? It kinda makes sense doesn't it? I just spent far too much money on a Diptyque Room Spray. Smells quite poofy but I'll give it a go.

Seat selection

Check-in online - If you plan on sleeping get a window seat, you can lean against the side and you won't have to be woken up by people as they nip to the bog. Most people hate the middle seat> I personally would rather avoid the aisle seat. It's great that you can get up easily (erm where you gonna go? Pop to the shops?) BUT you will spend the whole flight being nudged and knocked by people walking through the cabin, you will be leaned over with trays holding hot tea and you will have to get up for every single person in your row that has a call of nature.

Hand-luggage check-list.

Like a boy scout (I never was one) It's important to be prepared...I always have the following in my hand-luggage:

Passport and tickets - well of course.
Lipbalm - currently a Vitamin Water one.
Eye-roll on - makes you look awake when you're not...complete with tingling feeling (I use Biotherme Homme)
Eye-Mask - those cabin lights are not sleep friendly.
Sunglasses - in case the above doesn't quite cut it alone.
Paracetamol - nothing fancy just good to have around.
Chewing-Gum - for take off and landing; Chew or your ears WILL explode.
Antibacterial gel - think about how many people have sat in your seat before you...actually don't.
Hand Cream - Invest in a good one like Malin and Goetz.
I-pod - Nothing more relaxing than a bit of familiar cheesy music huh?
Book - erm...to read?
Netbook or Nintendo DS.
A little bit of British Sterling and a little bit of foreign currency - You don't want to be caught out, for example, in Turkey when you arrive you need £10 for a visa stamp and wherever you go you'll need to at least pay a taxi trip to your hotel or tip at a meal.

The Early Worm...

Much to my boyfriend's displeasure I love Duty Free. Not only does getting to the airport early mean you can dump off your massive over-weight bag (ooops) but you can shop! There are so many beautiful things that need to be looked at and sometimes bought. Oh it also reduces the risk of missing your plane.

Temporary Anorexia

I suffer jet-lag bad, I've been looking at various ways to speed up the recovery process. Avoid alcohol on the flight, stick to fruit juices and water, boring I know, but smelling of booze and having a hang over when you arrive is not a good look! Don't eat ANYTHING. Controversial I know. My theory is that your body clock, amongst other things, uses your meals to establish what time of day it is. Don't eat the food and just have the first correctly timed meal when you arrive..let's face it, it's crap food anyway.

In-flight entertainment

Depending on time of flight and the time you are arriving in the new country depends on how much you should listen to your ipod, watch the movies etc. My tip is to try and correct your timing as quickly as possibly, often the best way to do this is to sleep on the flight. I tend to limit myself to one movie and then sleep the rest.

If I could turn back time

When the pilot tells you the destination time, change your watch, ipod, laptop everything...when you get off the plane you have to think new time not old. It's confusing when you glance down at your laptop and realise that you're about to have lunch and it's only 3am back home. Admittedly I confuse easily.

Un-pack...completely.

When ever I get to my hotel, regardless of time, I always un-pack completely, I hang all my clothes up, I put all my toiletries out, shoes lined up, passport and valuables in the safe. There's nothing more effective at reminding you of your current gypsy status than having to go to your suitcase to find some crumpled up shirt to put on.

Never drink the water.

Simple - Don't drink water abroad. If you want to spend your week holding your meetings sat on the toilet be my guest, I personally don't want to.

Always raid the mini-bar.

For the Vegetarians out there! Our kind don't exist outside of the UK! As a Vegetarian who recently accidentally dug into a plate of chicken, as the restaurant didn't think it was a meat, I assure you, they don't understand our picky ways. Just say you eat vegetables. Also get some snacks from the mini bar and fill up your hand-bag/ man-bag, fainting is not cool.

So just a few ideas, I hope they help! Now excuse me whilst I go spritz my bed-linen with Berry fragrance - fruity!

Video WOW of the Week!

My mate Rich told me about Craigery's lip-sync video on Youtube...it's been online for a couple of days and already hit 2million views! I wanted to see the original, just as funny! Something a bit different from my usual Pop video posting. SURPRISE...my video WOW of the Week!

Up, Up and Away...

My job involves me taking A LOT of flights...luckily I enjoy flying and actually welcome the time to myself. I was in Turkey for the last couple of days visiting some factories. A flying visit (excuse the pun) arriving Wednesday evening and returning back to London yesterday.

Looking forward to getting back to London, my designer and I boarded at Istanbul Airport. The most irritating old American woman who was sat in front (incidentally with really bad hair) was already moaning about the fact she was sat in an upper class seat and couldn't recline. The UBER camp and rather stocky (fat) Air Steward informed her that due to being at an over-wing emergency exit, they couldn't recline as the doors had to be clear. "UN-ACCEPTABLE" she barked back. Well, I was in the same situation but apart from removing the wings and shifting them down 3 metres I could see little that could be done. He minced off and ignored her, I tried to do the same (minus the mincing).

We were just coming on to the runway when the pilot came on the speaker and explained that due to a young lady being taken ill we were having to return to the stand in order to get her assistance. Queue tutting, hissing and general moaning in the cabin. I must admit my own initial thought was that she's probably drunk or hung over, but at the end of the day, me getting arsey was not going to speed the situation up. The pilot wasn't going to think, "Crap, the passenger in seat 10D is looking rather annoyed, we'll head straight off, don't worry about closing the doors, there's no time..hold on everyone". We returned to the gate.

The girl was escorted off, the ultimate "walk of shame". I must admit I did visualise fellow passengers standing up, spitting at her and lobbing stones, no make that rocks, at her head as she walked past. Luckily they didn't. We sat at the gate for ages, I don't really know why we sat there so long. Perhaps we were waiting for her to visit her local GP, pop to the pharmacy and re-board? Anyway, she never came back.

The pilot came on again, apologising for the delay and that he would be travelling faster than usual to try and make up some lost time and that we would be leaving in about 5 minutes.

Of course I would be happy to travel faster to make up lost time, but part of me a) questioned why we wouldn't have been going at this faster speed had we left on time? Was the pilot planning on taking a leisurely fly back? and b) would I rather go the normal speed thus reducing risk of plummeting into ground into a ball of flames. It was best to leave it in his capable hands and to his expert opinion. An expert opinion that I started to doubt when promising on about 6 occasions that we would be leaving in 5 minutes, we didn't. Do I trust a pilot who can't count? Do I have any choice in the matter? No.

I remained calm and carried on reading my book. That was until cabin fever set and people started getting annoying, like REALLY annoying. I suddenly noticed the two 'mid-life crisis aged' I-pad using men, who weren't really doing anything on them, just showing them off. The American woman still moaning about her seat (just get out and walk), the rude Air Steward and his fat arse squeezing down the aisle, the dude behind me who kept putting his feet up against the back of my seat and the Australian woman talking to people (no make that everyone) about her concerns in catching her connecting flight at Heathrow.

Thankfully for all of the above, the seat-belt sign came on, silence resumed and we left again. An hour and a half later than scheduled. I didn't care by this point, I just wanted to whack my ipod in, read my book and zone out.

Now I'm back in London, I wonder what happened to that woman? Did we actually fly faster? And did the Australian ever catch that connecting flight? Like the age old question "why are there always phones in hotel toilets?" I guess we'll never know.

Next flight: New York, next week...at least there's a pretzel at the end of that flight, however horrendous it is.

Video WOW of the Week!

I know I've already posted a video WOW this week, but I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's my blog and I make the rules...here's another. The Saturdays next single "Higher". I heard the song on their album and I liked it, I liked it a lot. I then watched Saturdays 24/7 which I loved, I loved a lot. They were showing the making of this video. Kinda ruined the magic for me. They're not actually in NY they're on a set in LA AND there weren't really dancing window cleaners, in fact, rumour has it they weren't window cleaners at all! Crafty!

Video WOW of the Week!

My Video WOW of the Week is Cheryl Cole's new song "Promise This". Not a massive fan of the song, but like hair, I'm sure it'll grow on me. The video is tres amazing and the words if I could understand half of them are probably very deep and profound...now excuse me, I'm off to learn a dance routine.

Mind the Gap.

I use the tube every day. Those of you who live in London, or those of you who have visited...have you ever noticed "The Tube Way"?

def: "A distinct set of actions that nearly everyone who gets on a London tube carries out"...no? Well let me break it down.

The Arrival.
Here is where you can tell the Londoners from the tourists...most Londoners do the same journey again and again. We always walk on the left hand side of the escalator (we're very important and always in a rush) and we know where to stand for a) the best chances of getting a seat and b) the quickest exit when we get to our destination. Like an army operation, it's all about the planning.

Next train 1 minute.
We've all done it, seen a train turn up, got caught up in the moment and ran as the doors shut. Everyone inside the carriage sees you as you hurtle into the door, you spin, and just walk on up the platform trying to look cool, "I wasn't trying to get on that train anyway, I'm cool, I'm just chilling". Your disappointed face is saying something quite different. Tube trains tend to come every 2 or 3 minutes, therefore when in doubt don't RUN

Stand clear of the closing doors.
Similar to the above, someone always runs and someone always get's their bag/ hair/ coat/ head stuck in the door. When travelling with someone the individual will break down into fits of laughter much to the disgust of everyone waiting for the tube to move away. If alone the stuck individual will always panic, then smile and avoid eye contact for their whole journey. Everyone else will stare at this person thinking "flid".

The Carriage View.
Your first chance to take in your surroundings. Who's in there? Anyone you want to avoid? No? The coast is clear, next check...any seats? You find yourself looking longingly up and down the carriage for a seat despite having seen that people are standing up, squeezed in and therefore there really aren't any...each station you do a 360 check, like a hawk, is the old lady smelling of cats getting up? Oh Yes she is...strike.

Seat Smug.
Watch out for them, there's one seat, two people who clearly want it. They dash down the carriage, stepping on people, jumping over bags, swinging on the bars, there can only be one winner...the victorious ALWAYS gives a smug look, ALWAYS. What they really want to say is "I got the seat, you didn't...HA IN YOUR FACE!" but that would involve speaking to someone on the tube, which you just don't do.

Hold-on.
There's always a group of normally Spanish young tourists, who are shocked when the tube pulls away. "What? This thing moves?" They all go crashing down the aisle. Look out for the regular tube users who tut and shake their heads in disapprovement, inside we're actually finding it very funny.

Checking out the talent.
You're sat down or standing on the tube...within the first 2 minutes, you have already done a scan of the carriage, you have identified the hottest person, you have identified the mental person that you do not want to be anywhere near - fact.

Delays.
Watch people's expressions when a delay is announced. I guarantee the following will happen. People will tut and roll their eyes followed by a time check. Watch or phone, we are not amused and we clearly have somewhere VERY important to be, this two minute delay is a real inconvenience. Watch out for the people who have flights to get, they'll be the ones hyperventilating.

It's good to talk.
Communication with people you don't know on the tube is forbidden. The only time strangers talk is if a) they are drunk or b) they have stopped underground for a prolonged period. After 4 minutes people will start to look at each other as if to say "What an 'effin surprise!", after 7 minutes an old dude has normally muttered a moan and after 20 minutes the air is running out and people are telling their life stories. I keep my headphones in and ignore all of the above.

Video WOW of the Week!

I kept hearing this song in my sister's car, I liked it and this is why Kelly Rowland - Commander is my Video WOW of the Week! Move over Beyonce, Kels is the one for me. She's the kinda girl I'd like to be friends with, I'm always honest to my friends and can tell them anything - "Rowland the red catsuit is very Britney circa Ooops I did it again (and not in a good way) and please put your arse away love". Fabulous song, Fabulous singer, shite video - BFF xoxo.

I want!!!

Love these...believe it or not they're Swatch. OK I know what you're thinking, I'm thinking it too - my first watch, red and blue horrible thing. We may scoff but that bad boy has taught many of us the age old skill of time-telling. Swatch are about to release these rather scrummy men's edition watches. I want the black one, no the white one, or perhaps the red one...bugger it I want them all. Launch this month.

Starbucks Review No.11 : Membury Service Station

I've just spent a rather relaxing week in Devon with the family. I love Devon. I go every year, a week of relaxation, fresh air, time to escape London.

However...Every morning I woke up with a headache. It wasn't the loud farming machinery, oh no, it wasn't the loud cows, oh no again. I think it was coffee withdrawal symptoms. I have a Grande Vanilla Latte every morning at work, sometimes I even go Venti (naughty I know). This past week I went cold turkey...nothing, I tried to pour a few cups of tea down my neck but my head was having none of it. The nearest Starbucks was 14 miles away - now I like to walk, but 14 miles that's really long.

I tweeted the UK Mangaging Director of Starbucks who confirmed my fears...the nearest branches were no where near...trapped.

I soldiered on through, when I get back to Chelmsford there is a Starbucks there, in fact there are two. I still had a 5 hour car journey between me and the promised land...We pulled up in a rather run down service station en-route, proudly advertising it's KFC up-stairs, then I saw it...

*queue operatic up-lifting music.

Membury Services on the M4 had a Starbucks.

Starbucks Review No.11 : Membury Service Station.

A real case of supply and demand, I was already scoring this branch highly before I'd stepped in. As soon as I did, step in, it wen't down hill...massive queue and crap staff.

The atmosphere was fine, I like a good Service Station anyway; a limbo between A and B. Lots of different people, all running about, stocking up on trashy magazines, travel sweets and using the bogs.

Atmosphere was fine, cleanliness was also above board, the cleaner was a little lady (I think it was a lady) who smelt a little bit like rusks..anyway she was employed by the service station. All the Starbucks staff had to do was serve the coffee and the food.

I went on a rant, not at them (I don't like to cause a scene), the rant went something like this...

"I'm sorry I took so long to get my coffee sweet family of mine, thank you for waiting. The staff were clearly retarded. They were serving each other's food first in front of a massive queue of customers, they were having a chat behind the counter, one (the largest of the four) didn't know how to use the cleaning products and had the most annoying laugh and wasn't really doing very much, one girl was moaning about the till saying she'd given it a smack earlier as it wasn't working, she was also trying to keep up with all the drinks orders which took forever to come, the guy was flirting with one of the other members of the staff (the largest of the four I think) and they were all complaining that one of the team had been on break too long and should be back, I asked for a straw for a large straw and the girl barked back at me that the only ones they had were on the counter despite me seeing them behind her"...and breathe.

Coffee tasted good though.

Membury you should be ashamed of yourself...you score 2 mochas out of 10.

Video WOW of the Week!

It's the perfect song to listen to/ sing out loud when walking down any busy platform or your local High Street...Love the Kylie, Love the song...Get Outta My Way - the lil Australian's next single.

I want!!!

Like a fat-kid steaming up the window of a sweet shop, I saw this in Burberry yesterday...I want.

Lights, Camera, Action.

It's been seen...that big ol' X hurtling back towards the United Kingdom once again...X-factor is back on our screens which in my books means one thing, the count-down to Christmas has started.

I watched a little bit of the show yesterday, that's thirty minutes of my life I won't get back. I'm just a little bit over it now I think. There are so many other brilliant shows that could grace our flat-screens...All those TV producers out there that read my blog (God, there must be millions!) here are some ideas for free...yes, for FREE!

1) "Iverson Road" - obviously this was going to come up. The tale of one of the loudest streets in London and the families that live (and try to sleep) on it.

2) "Binmen" - Where does the rubbish go? Has anyone fallen in the rubbish collecting van? What do these men do for fun?

3) "Blind date" - bring it back, but mix it up a little, perhaps use actual blind people?

4) "Bottom of the Pops" - Another take on a classic, let's celebrate all those bands that got no-where, let's turn up the volume and remember why.

5) "Men of the Cloth" - Take 5 vicars and put them in a clothes factory for a month, take 5 tailors and make them take a sermon", film the results.

6) "The Pills" - The life and hardships of the medical profession. What are they wearing? Who's slept with who? Will they ever make it to the top?

7) "Cliff-hanger" - A show about climbers, every episode ends with one of them falling off the edge of a cliff...tune in next week to see if they survived.

8) "The Z-Factor" - Wheel in the old X-factor contestants and the dregs of Big Brother, in fact anyone people clawing on to celebrity status - Let the battle commence, who will be crowned the Z-Factor winner?

9) "Ham-star" - Talent show for Hamsters.

10) "Temptation" - Take 10 models, place them in a room full of cakes and biscuits - who will break first?

VIdeo WOW of the Week!

Frigin' love this advert!!

Rain, Rain, Rain.

I think I've mentioned my mate Lorraine on my blog before...well Lorraine works at the BBC.

After a stressful day at work involving manic prep for a work trip next week and dropping half an iced coffee in my Burberry I met her yesterday evening for a drink at the BBC bar to unwind.

I love Television Centre. I'd been once before for Children in Need but Lori took me on a little tour, past the famous studio 1, the viewing galleries, the star dressing rooms and over to the weather centre.

Just radomnly in the coridor between the framed pictures of the weathermen greats, they had a blue screen, flat screen television and camera installed. Lori powered it up, everything you need to pretend you're presenting the weather. That's right, me, presenting the weather on an actual TV - brilliant. My geography is shocking and I had no idea where any countries were, but at least I look the part - this is my very best serious "there's-a-storm-on-it's-way-look".



Better wrap up!

"Iverson Road" - episode 1

It's around 2am, Iverson road is still buzzing. The nearby bars have finally turned down the BAD music and the drunks have stopped their appalling karaoke attempts, ending on the Grease Medley...well of course! The scene is set.

Centre stage, alone lays a young man (me), trying to sleep, he's been woken up on this road before, every night in fact by the many chavs that wander the streets. Tonight he thought he'd cracked it, donning ear-plugs he had slept from midnight to 2am successfully - result.

Queue loud wailing women in the street..."My Boy, My Boy" - she's kneeling over a guy on the floor, even ear-plugs can't save the crying of this women who looks relatively normal but certainly has a twang of chav in her voice. "Why did they attack my boy man? He ain't done nufin' to them, he's my boy". Well, you know me, I'm no nosey neighbour, so I dart to the window to check out the action.

There's a guy in three quarter length trousers laying on the floor. Hub-bub builds around him, everyones getting involved, some dude is on his mobile trying to give the ambulance an address, "there's been a fight outside Sainsburys in London!" hmmm might need to narrow that down - what a hero!..."the Boy" called Jamie has been punched in the face by some black youths - no award winning story line here I'm afraid.

Girlfriend to growing crowd.."my boy, my boy, why my boy? He was protecting me man, I took punches, I took punches". She's pacing, Jamie lays on the floor - centre stage spot-light.

Drunk man on phone has managed to string together a coherent address narrowing it down to Iverson Road, Yes, THE Iverson Road. The emergency services are on their way. Jamie gets up, sure his face is bleeding but he's generally OK, OK enough to stand up and talk to those around him and try and calm crazy wailing lady. Who incidentally has moved on to her growing concerns for his damaged face and how she is going to have to look at it in the morning. She's yelling swear words at most black people walking by, she "ain't no racist though".

Jamie still wonders round, adding some drama by taking big gulps of water (provided by my neighbours downstairs who was arrested last week) and spitting it out on to the street...like a boxer would do (I imagine) - grrrr manly.

A guy tries to calm the situation, "Look man, you lost this fight, the attackers are far away and you'll be OK in the morning, just relax". Jamie doesn't like this "Hey man- I didn't lose no fight".

Three police cars and an ambulance turn up, not sure if this situation warrants four emergency services vehicles but it's certainly adding drama. Curtains are twitching along the road...the police are trying to ask the wailing woman some questions, she's having none of it...she's slurring some technical terms about "lack of evidence, the accused have left the scene" whilst staggering around on the street, "his face, his face!"

An elderly guy from over the road joins the action - he's swearing at the group (and the police) he is TRYING to sleep, the noise is ridiculous, he has been woken up over and over again by people blurting rubbish in the streets and he has had enough...ENOUGH! At last someone talking sense out there, I kinda want to go and join him, chipping in "yeah..you tell them" from a safe distance behind - it wouldn't be the done thing.

The group have got bored and disbanded - cliff-hanger time...What will happen to Jamie? Will his face be OK? Will wailing woman sober up and more importantly shut up and will elderly man and lone young man centre stage in bed (that's me) ever get a nights sleep? We'll find out next time on "Iverson Road".

Video WOW of the Week!

The latest single by The Saturdays, "Missing you". I wan't to like it, I don't. Video clearly cost more in plane tickets than production. oh Saturdays, have you peaked too soon? Is it all down hill from here? Tell me isn't so...let's see what other people had to say?

sing4passion
2 days ago.
DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT FRANKIE MIGHT BE THE NEXT CHERYL COLE WHICH I THINK IT SUCKS THAT PPL LOOK AT LOOKS NOT TALENT AND I THINK UNA IS THE SEXIEST 1 EVEN THO SHE NOT MA FAV GIRL MY FAV IS VANESSA ANY1 AGREE???

- huh?

yemo88
4 hours ago
Vanessa's boob pops out a bit! Can see her nipple, oops! Poor job or editors part or whoever does that! LOL.

-enough said.

Iverson Road.

I have been woken up, yet again, by the skanky chavs up my road.

Paul and the girl who I shall call "Tracy Sharon Marie" (I don't know her name) have felt the need, once more, to yell at 400 decibels outside my window. It would appear that tonight they are friends, a different story to Thursday morning at a similar time when they woke me up ...they were certainly less civil, in fact they were loud and vile.

Paul and Tracy Sharon Marie had a right ol' barney. I have never heard a "lady" say the F word so many times in one sentence...dirty bitch. I heard everything from how he's been texting other women, she's been sleeping with other men, he's 30 and she really isn't going to be looking after him anymore, yes, I really feel like I made a connection with the two chavs that night...neighbourhood watch I'm ready for you!

Thursday would be the same morning that an Irish drunk felt the need to trawl up and down my road incoherently rambling words that I just couldn't understand. I'd like to romanticise the situation and think that perhaps he's crying out for a lost love, a love he lost at sea...in fact it's just the fact that he had clearly spent the best part of a day in a pub drinking and was just out of his head. Real highlight was him starting to argue with Paul and Tracy Sharon Marie - queue fireworks.

Thursday would also be the same morning that in between the chavs and Irish drunk dude, my neighbour gets carted away in a police van. Did he get caught smoking weed? Did he hit his wife or worst did he sleep with Tracy Sharon Marie? - I guess we'll never know!?

"Iverson Road"...what a great name for a soap! Ooooh there's a Spanish argument kicking off up the road now, I'm off to listen in.

Video WOW of the week!

Mmmmmmmm Burberry Prorsum - Here's the Burberry Men's Spring Summer 2011 Fashion Show, was filmed in Milan yesterday...they were showing it live online yesterday. I missed it...Damn you Sainsburys!

Video WOW of the Week!

Kylie Minogue's latest single "All the Lovers". Big orgy, marshmellows and a Unicorn - What more could you want?

Crap cakes anyone?

Don't you hate it when you watch a TV programme that just gets your riled up? I've just watched Mary Portas, "Queen of Shops". I'm a big fan! Who watched it?

Angela was the other "star" of the show tonight. Angela owns a Bakery in Wimbledon, I can't remember it's name, which is in itself a problem if you think about it. Angela's bakery sold crap cakes, no, not crab cakes, they were CRAP cakes. Sure, she probably sold a few once in a while but they were not going to keep her shop afloat, especially when one of the major supermarkets were opening up right next door to her. All the cakes had smiley faces on and were well...CRAP.

Well, at first I felt sorry for her, she had been running her bakery for 36 years (my God, she liked to tell people that) she was clearly just a bit out of touch, Mary would save the day, Mary would tell what she needed to do...but NO. Angela wasn't as nice as I first thought, in fact Angela was VILE. She didn't listen to a word retail guru Mary said, in fact purposely did the opposite, on a visit to a professional and extremely profitable Bakery out in the country Angela thought it suitable to tell the Baker he looked tired and wasn't in a position to tell her what to do...hmmm fresh bread or CRAP cakes? you decide!

Well, anyway I'm getting slightly riled by this point, then it became apparent that Angela only invited Mary Portas and the "Queen of Shops" crew in as she wanted to revamp her shop, she wanted someone to pay for the refurbishment of her shop selling the CRAP cakes...you should've seen the reaction when Mary refused to pay for the new floor! What an abomination..."well where will my CRAP cakes be displayed?"

Anyway the show went on and this Bakery owner went on to say many enlightening things such as "We're not all materialistic, I just need to get some more customers", "Paul the Baker is not the integral part of the BAKERy" and the cherry on the top (boom boom)"Mary, no one ACtually makes bread anymore"...erm you're a Baker?

Well, to cut an hour's long programme short...I've never seen Mary Portas give up, this woman has balls, she keeps going until the death. That is until tonight, she walked away. Angela and her un-willingness to change her business (despite signing up for the show) pushed her to the edge.

Now, I'm not a nasty person, well not THAT nasty, but Angela can probably say good bye to her customers after the show aired and probably in turn kiss she can kiss good bye to her Bakery and CRAP cakes...which just in case she hadn't emphasised enough, she has owned for 36 years. It's a shame really.

Don't worry Mary, you can't win them all!

Video WOW of the Week!

Albania MUST win, they just MUST! This is Juliana Pasha singing "It's All About You" - Eurovision this Saturday! A TOTAL off the scale Video WOW!

Lei Ho

Six months since my last visit (WOW that's flown by)...here I am back again, Ladies and Gentlemen I bring you Hong Kong at 6.05am.

Do you know who I am?!

You all know of my love for the Twitter and you all know of my love for frequent culling days, hey, what can I say? It's a cruel world!

Well...my new pet hate...Z-list celebrities or in this case X-list "celebrities" acting up.

Case Study #1 - Olly Murs.



Wow Olly Murs, what a grounded fellow you have remained. How nice of you to share the going rate for just thirty minutes of your precious time. Now run along before they realise you spelt your name wrong on the autographs and ask for the money back. Un-follow.

Case Study #2 - Stacey Solomon.



Stacey, Stacey, you were the dippy lovable one in the show, I liked you, but turn up to a flight late and you wont be allowed to board...I don't think it's an Aer Lingus thing as such, just a general flying anywhere in the world thing. Perhaps speak to Olly Murs if you need help paying for the second flight? I hear he's raking it in! "Ridiculas" I know!

Alf

Ever tried to get a Taxi in Cornwall? It's hard!

I was down the West Coast continuing my trend research for SS11...Why Cornwall I hear you cry? Admittedly not really a fashion capital as such, but it's by the coast and the boats are pretty - enough reason for me.

On the second day we got the ferry over to Rock (the Island is called that). FYI don't ask the little fisherman ferry driver guy for "a receipt for expenses" - it's frowned upon and the locals laugh.

Upon getting to Rock, we realised there was very little there and tried to call a taxi to escape. "Ocean Taxis", had one taxi which was busy for the next three hours and the "Luxury Taxi firm " had two phone numbers both of which went through to an answer phone repeatedly...stranded. We asked in the lone cafe for another number, we were introduced to "Alf", he was supposedly really nice and we should give him a call...I did.

Alf was also not available for the next few hours either, BUT could pick us up from our hotel later, swing past picturesque Port Issac and take us to the railway station - perfect...Alf to the rescue!

Alf picked us up from the Hotel and drove us the 40 minute journey to Port Issac, where we wanted to take some more photos. We only needed an hour and so he said he'd wait for us and pick us up at quarter past four, bags were heavy so we asked if we could leave them in his car, he said that was fine..."See ya Alf! See you in an hour!"

WHAT?!?!?!?! Yes you read right, we actually did it...Why would we leave all our possessions in a stranger's car? Why would I go back and put my coat in there as well? Why did we think this man who we had met 40 minutes earlier would not steal our stuff? My BlackBerry with his number was in the car, in fact in the car I had left the following...

• New Burberry Bag
• Personal BlackBerry
• Work BlackBerry
• Clothes
• Shoes
• Wallet with cash, bank cards, company card.
• Train Tickets
• Oyster Card
• Door Keys
• Passport
• Work Pass
• Coat

Seriously, why didn't I just phone him up and let him know my PIN number and blood type? Oh yes, couldn't, he had my bloody phone!

For that last hour, needless to say, I was panicking slightly. Sure I wanted to relax take in the last few beautiful sights of the coastline (and it was beautiful) but wasn't really in the mood - how would I explain this to work, how would I explain that the three of us had basically handed over everything to a complete stranger and all we knew was his name was "Alf"?

Luckily for us Alf made a re-appearance and even joked when we got to the station and he handed us our stuff..."oh good, you're stuffs still here"...queue nervous laughter.

What have I learnt? Well, just because I'm out of London and I'm enjoying the countryside does NOT mean I should trust random old men...oh and I need to pack less.

Love Handles.

Shit, I have love handles, yes plural.

Slight podge was OK, well it wasn't OK, but I was on my way to sorting it out. I've reduced my carb intake, well over the last few days anyway, I'm doing sit-ups daily, OK, not done them for the last few weeks but at least I'm thinking about it.

Was just relaxing at home as one does on these Easter weekends, putting on some lounge trousers (I hate calling them that) was just doing them up when I saw it, two nasty love handles hanging over the edge. "Love handles" indeed...why call them that? There's nothing lovely about them! Hate Handles is far more in-keeping. "Muffin top" - not much better, but at least the title gives you a sign as to how you got them!

I'm now going to Plan B...No Carbs at all (after pasta tonight) and only fruit as snacks.

I am going on a beach holiday with the gays soon and there is no way that I want to look like the ugly, fat one that the other two invited along out of sympathy.

How many days do I have anyway? SHIT! 10 days!! 10 frigin days! That's just over a week, just short of two...right, I am going to only eat salads, no I'm not going to eat anything.

Desperate times and all that! Wish me luck, fat fingers crossed!

I left my heart in San Francisco

Just waiting for my flight to leave San Francisco for London.

I've been here for the week with work researching possible trend ideas for Spring/Summer 11, also hitting the shops buying American brands that are a lot cheaper in the States than in London.

It's my first time in the city, in fact it's my first time on the West Coast. Luckily my directors and designer had been before so they knew the good places to go and we could make the most of a relatively short visit.

The best way to describe it I think is as "a sunnier and friendlier New York".

And sunny it was! We've had some brilliant weather, I didnt crack out the shorts, it would be wrong to inflict that on the city, but it really has been beautiful. Saying that it did rain once, the day we rented a car and left the city, heading for the Napa Valley, the key wine growing region of California. You know the saying whilst in Rome? Well whilst in the Napa Valley, the done thing is to wine taste. So we did. We only stopped at one vineyard (we were working!) it was called the Jumping Stag or something? Well it was my first time tasting. I wasn't very good, upon reading the descriptions I pretended a little bit that I tasted some of the "pastry" flavours (!?!)...I wouldn't want people thinking I didnt have a sophisticated pallette would I?

On any work trip there are long days but on this trip I was lucky to get to see a bit of the city as well, I visited the Castro area (big historic gay liberation area - just watch Milk), went up the Coit tower and got an amazing view of the city, visited the Ferry Building and of course drove over the Golden Gate Bridge - here have a look see:









If you look past the mental people (there are ALOT) and the homeless, San Francisco is an amazing city and I would certainly recommend a visit, I'd love to come back, perhaps go to a few beaches, maybe learn to surf, maybe not..ooooh better get going to my gate!

See you on the other side!

I have!!!

"I want" , I have...mmmm Big oversized Bag.

Twitter : When Celebs say too much!

linsaylohan: my father is a liar, and whatever new weekly magazine is, is all false!

Starbucks Review No.10 : Oxford Street W1C

It would appear I've neglected the reviews for a while, in fact this is my first one of 2010!

I've actually ramped up my visits and am now visiting the "Bucks" everyday (sometimes twice) Yup that's right, minor obsession going on here but lets gloss over that, me? denial?

Back to my review...



I had to pop into the West End yesterday to do a bit of shopping en route to Chelmsford. Popped in for my Venti Skinny Vanilla Latte (yes skinny, remember it's the new me!) As soon as I stepped in my last visit came flooding back...abort abort!

It was manic, OK it's opposite Selfridges which automatically makes it a tourist hot-spot but this was REALLY manic, but un-necessarily so. Queued up, nothing strange so far but then I was met with a wall of about 8 Baristas, placed my order with one guy who yelled it down the other end to a mass of people scurrying around and clearly not listening. Queued a bit more until I was barked at to come up to the till, yes, friendly, had to repeat my order again. Still in line, queue screaming kids running round my legs and a policeman moaning about how tired he is (join the frigin' club!), all of a sudden, we all get barked at again, "It's busy in here, can you all move down!?" erm where to?

Approaching the bar, mmmmm coffee goodness, had to repeat my order again, it's just a mass of cups and people wondering where their drinks are...I couldn't get out of that place fast enough! Cup in hand, I make my escape.

I wondered if they were trying to add theatre by creating an environment of pressure, so American, so Metropolitan...that's what it'll be! They were trying to recreate the tension of a McDonalds, after all they are supposedly in competition in the states.

Needless to say, I reward this Starbucks 1 mocha out of 10.

Video WOW of the week!

It's Chezza singing about a Parachute, can't get this song out of my head at the moment, don't know why...perhaps I can beat it out?

Who ate all the pies?!

I have a frigin' podge.

I was browsing through photos of myself on facebook (come on...we all do it!) and started to notice that over the last few months my stomach is taking over the planet and I'm just starting to look bulkier in all the wrong places.

I'm off to San Francisco next week for a work trip, then off on holiday to Gran Canaria with the gays, then another work trip in Turkey...looking forward to the trips and change of scenery but these places = hot weather = less clothing = man-podge alert!

I never thought this would happen, they dont tell you about this in school do they?...they don't tell you that one day your ability to eat and drink whatever you want will (without warning) just dissapear and you will be left staring in the mirror at something that not only you created but you are also going to have to work really hard to get rid of. I've tried the gym (we all know how successful that was!) so now I've decided that I am going to walk more places, do sit-ups AND alter what I actually eat and drink.

I'm going to reduce the amount of carbs that I eat (I live on Pasta) and start eating more salads, vegetables and fruits. No more snacking on chocolate for me...oh no! Carrot sticks it is! No more drinking wine, I'm switching to Vodka and Tonic (I hate Tonic water so this also makes me drink slower as well, two birds one stone and all that)...and after checking up on the Starbucks website I realised that every morning I was pumping 251 calories into my body, so it's skinny Vanilla Lattes for me from this day forth, a saving of 52 calories, kerching!

As I type this I am being reminded that sitting at my desk is not going to get me this new trim bod, so I'm gonna get up, do some sort of sit up thing and walk to Oxford Street. Or at least to the tube station.

Right now for the very important warning "shot"...def: "a photo commonly placed in the fridge to deter fatties from eating their feelings".



Note to self: The drink you are drinking in this picture is giving you the podge in the bottom of this picture - STOP!!!!

I want!!!

Burberry Prorsum Tote bag...mmmmm.

Video WOW of the week!

So I wasn't always a fan of the Gaga, in fact I thought she was just too try hard and clearly deranged...HOWEVER lately I have a newly found respect for the young crazy one! She's a frigin' genius! This "pop movie" is absolutely fantastic! Lady Gaga's latest single Telephone ft. Beyoncé (who FYI, I still can't stand).

Many Minds, One Heart.

I've taken my little netbook out on an adventure today - just me, it and the road, well rails I guess as I'm sat on a train.

I'm heading back to Chelmsford for the weekend for Mother's Day. I was meant to head back yesterday but I met up with a uni mate and well lets just say mid-day drinking and I don't mix. One drink turned into a further "one for the road" which turned into probably about 8...needless to say, I was rather drunk, no actually make that trashed by about 5 o'clock and public transport was not going to be a good idea.

I'm OK today though, I'm up, bright and breezy, I've had my Starbucks and I'm ready for the day.

I like going back to Chelmsford, it's nice to escape London once in a while and return to the home lands. I don't know if any of you have been to Chelmsford (the original birth place of Radio - oh yes!) but it's got just the right amount of "things". It's got a good selection of clubs, some good bars and restaurants, two Starbucks, the usual high street shops and as lame as it sounds some nice park areas as well...not as busy as London but not a sleepy little village either, to use the name of a well known bread brand, it's the "best of both"...I could moonlight as a tourist information person couldn't I?

I must admit when I was growing up, I couldn't wait to move away and so I did, I made sure the uni that I went to was in London but looking back, Chelmsford or "Chelmo"as we fondly refer to it aint so bad.

I was thinking about moving back actually - I'm toying with the idea of living on my own and well in London it's looking as though I'll have to sell both lungs, a leg and my heart to go it alone, in Chelmsford I could probably afford quite a nice flat....saying that I don't think I could cope with the commute, I quite like being fifteen minutes from the West End and I'm not sure if I'm ready to hang up my oyster card quite yet; we'll see I guess!

Anyway, I'm just reading this back and I'm boring my self...have a good weekend y'all!

This month I have mostly been buying...

Limited Edition Helvetica Alphabet T-Shirt from American Apparel.



P is for Paul.

Size Matters.

If a Venti wasn't big enough for you...

Starbucks Tests New Size: 31-Ounce 'Trenta' - Iced drinks available only in Phoenix and Tampa for now

Starbucks is offering a 31-ounce cup of iced coffee or tea in Phoenix and Tampa. The move is likely another step in the competition between McDonald's and Starbucks—McDonald's sells 32-ounce sweet teas in Southern markets, and recently started offering espresso. The new Starbucks size is called "Trenta." An iced coffee in that size costs $3.30 and an iced tea $2.60.



Starbucks and McDonalds in competition? What is the world coming to? Saying that, I can't wait for the giant one to come to the Kingdom United..mmmm Trenta Vanilla Latte.

News Flash : Sushi in Chelmsford

I'm vegetarian, not one of those weird vegans but as a general rule I don't eat anything with eye-balls. People always find it strange that I'm a massive fan of sushi.

Yes, vegetarians can eat sushi too!...granted our choices are limited and it can take a while to select a dish where my scaly friends haven't been massacred, but us veggies (hate that term) are quite welcome round the moving conveyor belt.

Tonight I went out for dinner with my friend Emma. We thought we'd try the newly opened Sushi bar "Moshi Sushi" in Chelmsford...one of the strangest places I've ever eaten, Moshi Sushi that is...not Chelmsford.

We arrive, first thing you notice is the decor, neon...if you want mood lighting this is not the place for you, if you like to wander round the lighting department of your local Ikea or Habitat then you'll feel right at home. We're escorted round to the bar, squeezing past a rather large gentlemen perched at the end, I always say just because the conveyor keeps a bringin' doesn't mean you have to keep a eatin' (you catch my drift).

I sit down and find myself over-shadowing Emma, gotta love those adjustable seats! Find the knob, going down and I'm at conveyor belt level...perfect, no food...not much sushi making going on actually. One chef is pre-preparing fruit salads, placing them carefully in the fridge when finished, one of the two "Head" chefs (why are there two?) is walking in out of the kitchen carrying one plate at a time, the waitresses are having a chat at the bar and another guy (who moonlights as the delivery guy as well) is hand drying plates in the corner of the restaurant..."Blue - All Rise" comes on the music system...where on Earth am I?

After a good 15 minutes we grab a waitress's attention to order...Rose wine caused the most issue, don't think our waitress had ever heard of it? The waitress was sweet, useless, but sweet...she kept giggling to herself and running round telling me how busy it was in there tonight and how she was going "mad".

Popped to the toilet upstairs, went into what I can only describe as someones dining room? Complete with lady eating her dinner at the table, I smiled at her, pulled up a chair and asked her how long she'd been living in the Sushi Restaurant (obviously I didn't), I quickly turned round and found the toilets...message over the sink read "Be careful of the hot water from Moshi Suhi"...not only do I not eat anything with eye balls but I struggle eating in places that spell their main food offering wrong - hey, just call me fussy!

We finished eating, all said and done, food was pretty good actually! Oh except the desserts, Emma and I thought we'd try the Mochi (gluten rice cake things) I don't know why I did it...I've had them before, I didn't like them then and I certainly didn't like them tonight, three cake things to choose from, each tasting of nothing! mmmm.

Upon asking for the bill our waitress, who's English I swear got worse and worse throughout the evening, found it highly amusing that we were paying separately (as I'm sure you're aware Emma and I are not an item) she insisted that I pay for it all on my card and then Emma give me the cash if that's what we wanted to do...Emma and I did as we were told (obviously).

What a funny old night! I want the place to work, Chelmsford has needed a sushi restaurant since for ever, but they really need some good old Japanese management in there or at least some sort of machine that can do the job quicker.

Video WOW of the week!

This film has been out for ages granted but still love it - this is (in my humble opinion) the best scene in the whole movie...THE arrival!

Twitter : When Celebs say too much!

brianfriedman
I don't like sales because it means its defective merchandise...

I heart Vitamin Water

I think I've already revealed my minor obsession for Vitamin Water - If I've not got a Starbucks in hand, the chances are there's a Vitamin Water not too far away.

What can I say? I'm a complete sucker for marketing. For me the bag you get handed when you make a purchase is just as important as it's contents, an ipod wouldn't be half as sexy without it's sleek packaging and the bottle a fragrance comes in is much much much more.

I should know better, I'm a Buyer, I know the truth behind costs and the inflated prices the punter pays...I'm an insider of the big commercial machine but I still pay up.

My Vitamin Water love has grown to a new level this past week. Last Wednesday I was walking to my office on Baker Street, looking around (as everyone should do on busy main roads)...I clocked it, the white packaging of my fav, La Vitamin Water. Sucked in I purchased a XXX Triple Berry! Just a treat! Lovin' the Flavour, I tweeted "I heart Vitamin Water XXX" - The Vitamin Water fairies or who ever it is tweeted back "...and it loves you". The bond was formed.

Today I was having a bit of a dip in the afternoon and so I sneaked next door to grab another bottle, well what do ya know...a Vitamin Water promotion stall thing with girls offering tasters (no need I've tried them all) I smiled, walked past them and bought a bottle. As I was leaving they stopped me "Triple Berry - good choice!"...Cut the crap! They then handed me a fabric bag (thus turning me into a bill-board), a free bottle of whatever flavour I wanted (I went for Revive) AND an eye mask"!?

£1.80 well spent - Vitamin Water I salute you!

Video WOW of the week!

I know I'm about 4 months behind but only recently got the Saturday's Album "Wordshaker" (Thanks for nothing play.com!) Here is The Sat's most recent single release..."Ego" - it's the Almighty Club Remix Edit dontcha know!

Take note...

My work mates were telling me about this story in the Metro Newspaper yesterday morning...a "lady" was banned from her local Tescos because she used to go in shopping in her pyjamas...

(click to make bigger)

To be honest I'd do the same I think...ban her that is. My favourite line has to be the last one! Genius. Let this be a lesson to us all; get up, DRESS up...then shop.

Video WOW of the week!

My new favourite show? GLEE! It's like High School Musical but spread over multiple weeks! Mix that with a flashmob (still find them amazing) et voila....amazingness! Where do I sign up!?

Twitter : When Celebs say too much!

angellicabell @mikeyunderwood and I are going to have colonics today! He's ****ting his pants! Ha! Let the New Year detox begin! Arghhhhhh

The perfect school outfit!?

Don't get my wrong, I'm a fan of the Whitney (ala Hills fame) HOWEVER I just stumbled across this video, online since September (I need to stay in more)- I have never heard such drivvle come out of one persons mouth...bless her! Getting ready to go back to school? Remember you can't go wrong with T-shirts and jeans...teamed with a jeans jacket AND animal prints...what an outfit!

Video WOW of the week!

The guy with the long hair is creepy, the guy with the short hair is hot, she's just amazing...My Video WOW of the week!? 3OH!3 - STARSTRUKK ft. Katy Perry (although we know it's actually all about her)!

Batten down the hatches!

Oh my! BBC have put out the following weather warning and Phillip Schofield has just tweeted that he's booked into a London hotel incase he can't get back into London in the morning (must be serious!)...looks like we could be in for a white one tomorrow...God Speed!

WEATHER WARNING There is a high risk an extreme weather event affecting parts of southern England this evening and overnight. A period of exceptionally heavy snowfall is expected with accumulations pf 15-30cm and perhaps in excess of 40cm. This is expected to cause widespread disruption to the transport network and could lead to problems with power supplies. Valid until 2010-01-06 1800GMT"

The September Issue

Can't get enough of this film at the moment! New Year's resolution to wear sunglasses everywhere...and to be more like "The" Anna!

ouch.

Big fat fail against last night, I don't think I mixed drinks (I stuck to just spirits - granted, all of them)...I feel rather rough today and this is not how I want to feel this year. I've decided to reduce the amount I can drink by half, the easiest way to do this in my opinion is by only drinking drinks that are in the latter part of the alphabet, therefore starting with M and onwards.

Twitter-Tw*tters.

It's cut throat the world of Twitter. Yes, I've declared my love for the twitter site but have been finding myself getting angry at certain "celebrity" Twatters. It's my own fault, I thought it would be fun to add them, see what their world is like, but I'm going on a culling mission...had my first casualty this afternoon!

A certain young man who shame remain nameless. He was in a band but isn't anymore and is now holding on to stardom for dear-life by treading the boards in the London's west-end.

I was sick of logging in and seeing him say how fantastic his life was, how much he loves his twitter followers and how they mean the world to him and he couldn't do it without us...blah blah.

Another frequent theme seemed to be him telling all us gullible followers how many shows he had to do today and how he can't wait for his next day off..."only one show today", "God, got two shows to do today...hope I get through them" It's YOUR JOB!!! I don't go in the office and tweet "Oh Gosh, got 12 pieces of knitwear to book today, hope I get through!" I'm a buyer, that's my job!?...and *breathe*...

Well there are other people close to the chop...a certain rich heiress telling us every day that she's having an amazing time shopping and ski-ing. I think I would too with her bank balance, in fact I would pay someone to tweet for me. Also a young gentleman trying to make it big in the music industry, I would say his name but you won't know him (case in point)...don't push me!

Rant over - Right really must get going - late!

2010...New Year...New Me!

I think we've established I didn't do that well with my plans for 2009. I think year is going to be different though, I have a good feeling! 2009 in my opinion was an ugly number, 2010 is lot more visually appealing.

This year I know what I SHOULD do and that's simple... "save more, drink less" ...but to be honest , I know myself, I've known myself for 26 years now and I'm unlikely to succeed, saying that these two things are something that I do need to work on...

I could probably get away with drinking as much as I currently do (I have already reduced heavily from 2008 I think?!) but for 2010 I am going to make a conscious effort to not drink cheap drinks (Goodbye £1.60 G-A-Y "wine"). I'm also not going to mix spirits and wines in one night out.

For saving, since my promotion I am in a better position to put a little bit away each month, a nest egg for when I want to buy an egg or a nest. I will set up a standing order and that will be that, I hear by swear I wont just transfer the money bank into my account like I've done in the past, I'm a changed man!

Tomorrow I will post my list of things to do in 2010...I'm off out now though, time to put the above into practice! Wish me luck!

First post of the New Year - HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Still thinking about my New Year's resolutions so will be posting that very soon but before that it's time to empty my "wall of memories".

Wow that sounded more theatrical than I intended, let me explain...I have a plastic multi pocket thing that I got from Habitat a while ago, it hangs on my bedroom wall and I like to keep bits and pieces in it, you know tickets, photos and other things that have made me laugh over the year, well now it's 2010 I think I should empty it and start afresh.

With risk of sounding like a pubescent girl keeping a box of things that really should be thrown away like cinema stubs and used napkins from various dates it's actually quite a nice way to remember the year...stay with me haha! Here it is as of 2nd December 2o10.

From top left (the disco ball!?!) to bottom right...

Pocket 1) 6 year old birthday badge with Vanessa Hudgens on - I dont know even know how that go on there - I can't stand her.

2) Ticket for my first football match (England vs Slovakia) went with Boxfresh - amazing night!

3) Various club entry flyers, a snowflake that Tim made for a christmas costume and a Howick label (one of the brands that I buy).

4) Bolt cinema ticket and a Hospitality pass to the European Open golf event - Polo Golf took me and Tim.

5) A photo of my housemate Jo incase I forget what she look's like I guess!?

6) Tickets to Thorpe Park and some post-it notes that my hotel in New York left for me with useful tips on how to get over jet-lag, wonder if they were trying to tell me something?

7) Alton Towers tickets.

8) Avatar 3D tickets, Tim took me to see it at the Imax, brill film, also a cinema stub for Confessions of a Shopaholic, saw this with Jo and Lori - another good'un.

9) A postcard of a naked guy (thanks Rich!), a Starbucks holder and oyster card holder.

10) One of my business cards, a Harry Potter movie stub and a "2 of hearts" playing card.

11) An Umbro tag (the second brand that I buy), Comedy Camp ticket and Tori Amos concert ticket.

12) Manchester guide from Rich's Birthday trip and some pin padges saying "diva" and "Bitch" - again I didnt put them there.

13) Zoo ticket and business card for a rather lovely restaurtant in New York.

14) My bear bricks Identity cards - I've got Dr X and Horror Bear.

15) Faded cinema stubs - I can't even see the films that I went to see.

16) An Aussie Bum oystercard holder and Kylie X tour ticket - wow that was 2008, this thing is clearly over-flowing.

17) Walking with dinosaurs oystercard holder (I've not even been) and a star-ey card that my mate Shiana got me ages ago.

18) Another advice post it from New York - "Dream Big - make a fist and gently hit a path along your shoulders! OWWW!

19) A "Saturdays" postcard from their recent gig in Camden and a random black button?!

20) Katy Perry concert ticket and G-A-Y late entry flyer.

21) Boarding Pass from my first work trip to Denmark (again from 2008) but still nice to keep.

22) Train ticket to Lymington town from when I went to a wedding with Tim in 2008 and also some US dollars.

23) Another Oystercard holder (how many do I need!!?!) and a Subway voucher (probably out of date).

24) A picture of a hamster driving a car - from a Birthday card Jo got me a couple of years ago - it's funny for the very reason that Hamsters don't drive cars.

25) My passport, sushi restaurant loyalty card and European Health card thing.

26) Lo-profile bar business card, Marine Ices business card and a Malta keyring (I've not been myself).

27) Pink concert ticket and Madonna concert ticket to remind me of when I "met" the Queen.

28) Chad and Kelsi (from High School Musical) badges which David, Jo, Lori and I wore to the cinema when the last film was shown - emotional times.

29) Postcard from one of the artisits that Tim works with and some information on Chunk (one of the brands that I used to buy at work).

30) Photo of Tim and I and a sneaky photo of Zac Efron (shhhhh!).

31) My Network Railcard, My Credit card and my House of Fraser account card.

32) Pussycat doll concert ticket and my Virgin Frequent Flyer information card.

33) Girls Aloud cinema ticket and wrist band for 02 loung entry.

34) A conker from the Hamptons (!?!?).

35) Some specs that make you see hearts when you look through them - no really and a pirate's eye patch (well of course!)

36)...finally...a napkin from a nearby restaurant "Me Love Sushi" and I do just that!