Doctor how?

I hate the doctors. I had to go yesterday. Been off work for the last three days with aches, fever and sore throat, nice. Decided it wasn't a cold and that I should get a third opinion, other than my own and the NHS direct line website "You are probably dying, phone 999 immediately".

So, when I'd remembered where my doctor actually was, I made an appointment and went along.

I chose to ignore the tfl instructions and managed to arrive 30 mins early, the lovely but rather coughey / clearly ill receptionist let me in despite the surgery not being open for afternoon "trade" yet. She was hacking up good and proper. That's the thing about doctors surgeries, it's warm, ideal temperature for breeding germs and people are there because they're sick...God knows what you come out with, probably an upgraded version of what you went in with, enter with a cold, exit with bird flu..ta-dah!

So, sat there I read "Bird watchers monthly", a magazine about Brownies and "Dorset Living"...twice...overhear the receptionist answer the phone..." that's right Mrs.Harris, your doctor is on annual leave on Monday...he's back on the 3rd January!?!?" Erm...what type of doctor takes off over a month during the peak flu period? A lazy one my friends. In fact if my office is reading in, I'm thinking of taking the next buying season off!?

Old people love doctors surgeries don't they!? I don't know whether its the fact it gives them somewhere to go, someone to talk to but they love it. You can always tell when someone walks into the doctors and the receptionist knows them by first name...never a good sign is it?! An old Irish woman came in yesterday to cancel an appointment, she was there for about 25 minutes talking absolute crap. She was moaning about the doctor who she had had a yelling match with in the surgery the week before and also moaning about the "eastern european" receptionist who was very rude. The ill receptionist was chipping in between coughing fits.

I'm clearly the first person for the later session, they still made me wait, 25 minutes, bastards, in walked the doctor casually, I get a waft of tobacco, you know the old stuff you put in pipes...healthy!

He had the worst toupee I have ever seen, wrong colour and clearly shifted in the wind.

First question he asked me was whether I smoked, I said no, he told me I was a good lad...the doctor on the other hand clearly did, he was wheezing and out of breathe. Medical advice from this man, really?!

He diagnosed me as having tonsillitis...which as I'm sure you can imagine I'm really over the moon about, I'm on antibiotics and plenty of fluids.

I've been in the flat for 3 whole days now and I have cabin fever real bad, my bedside table is looking like a drugs cabinet and all I want to do is go out and enjoy the weekend, not going to happen. Now excuse me, I'm off to crank up the heating, pour myself a bath and dose myself up.



- Posted (with love) from my gorgeous iPad.