"Iverson Road" - episode 1

It's around 2am, Iverson road is still buzzing. The nearby bars have finally turned down the BAD music and the drunks have stopped their appalling karaoke attempts, ending on the Grease Medley...well of course! The scene is set.

Centre stage, alone lays a young man (me), trying to sleep, he's been woken up on this road before, every night in fact by the many chavs that wander the streets. Tonight he thought he'd cracked it, donning ear-plugs he had slept from midnight to 2am successfully - result.

Queue loud wailing women in the street..."My Boy, My Boy" - she's kneeling over a guy on the floor, even ear-plugs can't save the crying of this women who looks relatively normal but certainly has a twang of chav in her voice. "Why did they attack my boy man? He ain't done nufin' to them, he's my boy". Well, you know me, I'm no nosey neighbour, so I dart to the window to check out the action.

There's a guy in three quarter length trousers laying on the floor. Hub-bub builds around him, everyones getting involved, some dude is on his mobile trying to give the ambulance an address, "there's been a fight outside Sainsburys in London!" hmmm might need to narrow that down - what a hero!..."the Boy" called Jamie has been punched in the face by some black youths - no award winning story line here I'm afraid.

Girlfriend to growing crowd.."my boy, my boy, why my boy? He was protecting me man, I took punches, I took punches". She's pacing, Jamie lays on the floor - centre stage spot-light.

Drunk man on phone has managed to string together a coherent address narrowing it down to Iverson Road, Yes, THE Iverson Road. The emergency services are on their way. Jamie gets up, sure his face is bleeding but he's generally OK, OK enough to stand up and talk to those around him and try and calm crazy wailing lady. Who incidentally has moved on to her growing concerns for his damaged face and how she is going to have to look at it in the morning. She's yelling swear words at most black people walking by, she "ain't no racist though".

Jamie still wonders round, adding some drama by taking big gulps of water (provided by my neighbours downstairs who was arrested last week) and spitting it out on to the street...like a boxer would do (I imagine) - grrrr manly.

A guy tries to calm the situation, "Look man, you lost this fight, the attackers are far away and you'll be OK in the morning, just relax". Jamie doesn't like this "Hey man- I didn't lose no fight".

Three police cars and an ambulance turn up, not sure if this situation warrants four emergency services vehicles but it's certainly adding drama. Curtains are twitching along the road...the police are trying to ask the wailing woman some questions, she's having none of it...she's slurring some technical terms about "lack of evidence, the accused have left the scene" whilst staggering around on the street, "his face, his face!"

An elderly guy from over the road joins the action - he's swearing at the group (and the police) he is TRYING to sleep, the noise is ridiculous, he has been woken up over and over again by people blurting rubbish in the streets and he has had enough...ENOUGH! At last someone talking sense out there, I kinda want to go and join him, chipping in "yeah..you tell them" from a safe distance behind - it wouldn't be the done thing.

The group have got bored and disbanded - cliff-hanger time...What will happen to Jamie? Will his face be OK? Will wailing woman sober up and more importantly shut up and will elderly man and lone young man centre stage in bed (that's me) ever get a nights sleep? We'll find out next time on "Iverson Road".